Edition #28 – Why Great Leaders Must Get Good at Unlearning
We talk a lot about what to learn, but we almost never talk about what to unlearn. Most capability work stops at new skills, new frameworks, new checklists. What if we flipped the coin on that thinking?
In most organisations, performance isn’t limited by what people don’t know. It’s limited by what they still do that no longer works. And unlearning is far harder than learning. Here’s the brain science behind that reality.
Your Brain Loves the Familiar
When you learn something new, your brain builds a neural pathway — like carving a trail through the woods. The more that trail gets used, the easier it is to follow. That’s efficiency. That’s expertise. But here’s the kicker: even when a new, better path exists, your brain will default to the old trail because it’s easier. The original pathway is deeper, more automatic, more comfortable.
So unlearning isn’t about erasing old knowledge. It’s about inhibiting dominant neural habits while strengthening new ones. That’s why people can learn new concepts, and still behave exactly the same way.
That’s Why Unlearning Feels Hard and Personal
There’s more than just neural grooves at work:
- Ego protection: old mental models become part of identity. Letting them go feels threatening.
- Cognitive bias: the brain prefers familiar conclusions because they short-circuit thinking effort.
- Social reinforcement: norms can make outdated approaches feel “safe” even when they aren’t.
- Emotional attachment: emotionally charged experiences create stickier neural pathways.
So when we ask leaders to stop doing something, we’re asking them to override deep-seated wiring, identity cues, and emotional patterns. No surprise then that unlearning feels like growth’s slightly awkward cousin.
At Advance 6 we often look at one critical lens: What happens when the pressure goes up? Because that is the real test. Under pressure, leaders do not rise to their aspirations. They revert to their wiring. They default to the deepest neural pathway. The familiar script. The behaviour that once kept them safe or successful.
So if you are trying to layer complex new skills on top of old, unchallenged habits, you create tension. When the heat is on, the old habit wins. That is why simplicity matters. If growth is cluttered, overly intellectual, or overloaded with frameworks, it collapses under stress. Unlearning forces clarity. It strips back the behaviours that undermine judgement when stakes are high. Because if it does not hold under pressure, it is not capability. It is theory.
The Anti-Skills List, Now With Brain Logic
1. Stop Over-Explaining
We think we’re being helpful. Our brains think we’re reducing risk. But in reality, we’re reinforcing old pathways of control and drowning out space for others to think critically. The brain already defaults to habit. Over-explaining just deepens those tracks.
2. Stop Rescuing
Rescuing teaches the brain to expect rescue. It reinforces pathways of dependency — for leader and team. Stretching builds new neural routes. Rescue deepens old ones.
3. Stop Rewarding Speed Over Thinking
Speed feels good because it feels certain. But because the brain prefers energy efficiency, it often defaults to speed even when judgement is needed. Deliberate thinking is brain exercise. It takes effort. And that’s why we avoid it.
4. Stop Mistaking Activity for Impact
Rituals feel comfortable. Busy diaries feel productive. But they’re just familiar trails, not meaningful cognitive change.
The Real Neuroscience of Leadership Growth
Unlearning isn’t forgetting. It’s neural reorganisation. Old connections don’t vanish, they just weaken as new ones strengthen. That’s why unlearning is behavioral, emotional, and cognitive. It’s not just a “decision.” It’s practice.
The Unlearning Challenge
Pick one behaviour from the list above. Don’t stop it outright. Just interfere with the neural pathway. Interrupt it. Notice the urge. That discomfort is where the path starts to fade.
Growth is not addition. Real growth is subtraction.